Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
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