We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
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