Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
Randomize