So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
Bring me that man meat
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
Randomize
