I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
Randomize
