I just made out with a guy for $7.
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
Randomize
