I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
Randomize
