Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
