she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
Randomize
