Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
3 2 1 whiskey
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
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