She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
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