guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
Randomize
