Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
Randomize
