First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
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