So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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