woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
Randomize
