Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
Randomize
