Sponge bath it is.
I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
Randomize
