A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
Randomize