Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
I know her cup size but not her name....
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Randomize
