it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
I need mimosas to revive my soul
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
Randomize
