What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
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