In the future we'll all be gay
May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
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