Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
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