I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
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