I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
