please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
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