My first STD was from a foam party
You work out of a Hotel?
I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
I made him laugh his dick is mine
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
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