...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
Randomize
