I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
Randomize
