Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
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