People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
Randomize