I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
Never underestimate the power of titties
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
