I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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