we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
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