how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
Randomize
