I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
Randomize
