I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
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