but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
did you just send me my own nude
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
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