I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
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