is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
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