And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Randomize
