ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Randomize
