so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
Randomize
