i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
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