One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Randomize