Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
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