Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
Randomize
