is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
Randomize
