and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
im having a threesome with these popsicles
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
Randomize
