Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
Randomize
