Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
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