gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Randomize
