i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
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