Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize