one word: firstdatebathroomanal
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
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