after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
Randomize
