Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
Randomize