Have you finally orgasmed yet?
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Randomize
