I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
Just had to reach into my sister's bag and shut off her vibrator so my parents wouldn't hear it. I am the world's greatest brother.
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
i out mim tonsoeep
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
