BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
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