I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
Randomize
