you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
Randomize
