At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
Randomize
