with your own penis?
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
Randomize
