drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
We talked him into tasing himself.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
Randomize
