Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
I forget how to act sober
Randomize
