In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
Randomize
