yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
Randomize
